The Quiz
"It's a quiz!" she insisted, her smiling face peering up at me as she hung herself precariously off the front of my shopping trolley. "Are you up for it?"
"Ahh... Do I get to ask you who the hell you are first?"
"Nope. Yes or no." She had the kind of smile a man can't say no to, not just her mouth, but her eyes, her cheeks, her whole face. Short curly brown hair bounced with the trolley.
"I guess as I'm already giving you a free ride around the supermarket..."
"That's a yes, right?"
"Yes."
"Carly."
I was stuck already. All chances of witty banter gone. "Huh?"
"My name, silly."
"Oh. Oh, right. Carly. Nice to meet you."
"Yes?" her grin was infectious, and even survived having her butt impacted on a breakfast cereal display. Short skirt. Pleated. Denim. "And?"
"Sorry. Nathaniel. Nat."
"Oh, I prefer the full version."
"You do?"
"Yes. Listen, I'm running this quiz. You drive the bus."
"Drive... Okay."
"Good. Righto Nathaniel. If you were going to be stuck on a desert Island for... Oh, this is crap. Marriage status?"
"I'm not married."
"Of course you're not, Nathaniel. Last name?"
"Oh, Bane."
"Leicester. Bain with an 'ai'?"
"Leicester?"
"That's mine. It's..."
"Carly Leicester, right?"
"Yeah. 'ai'?"
"Ah. No. B A N E."
"Are you looking at my tits, Mr Bane?"
"Oh, no, I... It's just the way you are crouched over my trolley." I was. She had a striped tank top that suited her somehow, multiple random colours. The shirt was cut low at the front, and I could see her royal blue bra straps, a bit of the bra itself, and some tidy firm young cleavage.
"You don't like them?"
"No, no, they are wonderful."
"You were looking at them!"
"Listen, isn't this my trolley?"
"Sure it is. Thanks."
"Huh? Did you escape from somewhere, Carly?"
"Yeah, boredom."
"What did you say thanks for?"
"You said my tits look wonderful. Here, what about like this?"
"Hey, listen, someone might see you doing that, you know."
"I was hoping you would see. That was the idea. Anyway, they were still covered and all. Shoe size?"
"Oh.... Well... thanks for showing me, then. Umm... Twelve."
"Twelve? My God!"
"I've got..."
"Yeah, big feet. So, Mr Nat Bane, is it true, what they say?"
"What who say?"
"You know. About the correlation. Shoe size."
"Correlation with what?"
"Bend down."
"Huh? Carly, you're not making lots of sense."
"Ooh, hey, get some of that? No, the peanut ones. Yeah. Another one. You want one too?"
"No, thanks. Hey!"
"I'm just bending you over, silly. I want to whisper something to you. Oh, God, you think anyone can see my panties?"
"I can't, but I bet everyone else can."
"They're clean. Can you hear me?"
"Yes. Why are you whispering though?"
"The correlation is foot size to penis size. I didn't want to talk about your penis out loud."
"Oh, thanks. What?"
"Well? Oh, stand up. That's better. You wouldn't be any good as a spy, would you? I'll just say it, should I?"
"You already did, sort of."
"Well? The panties, by the way, don't match the bra, okay. They're white."
"You're asking me how big my penis is?"
"Yeah. And telling you about my panties, because you can't see them, unlike, you said, everyone else."
"I'm not telling you."
"It's little then?"
"Huh?"
"Well, if it was huge, surely you'd say so."
"I would?"
"Hell Nat, I would!"
"You're a girl."
"Yeah, but I can imagine."
"I'm sure you can. Listen, can you grab a carton of that milk?"
"Sure. This one? There you go. Music?"
"No thanks."
"No, what do you like?"
"Ummm..."
"Blues, Nathaniel?"
"Some, yep."
"Not country, right. Tell me not country, Nat."
"No, Carly. Not country."
"What else?"
"Rock music. I like some classical."
"What about sex?"
"What are you asking now, Carly?"
"Oh, no, not that. I mean, what kind of music do you like with sex?"
"Depends."
"On?"
"The partner."
"So it's not been just the right hand then, eh, Mr Bane?"
"It's... No. No, it hasn't. Listen, do I get to quiz you?"
"So can you hazard a number? Yeah, if you pass."
"A number, Carly? Of sexual partners?"
"Is it a hearing thing, or you have a problem?"
"I've never been questioned about my sexual performance in a supermarket before. It's a little unnerving."
"But more than one, right?"
"Uh. Yes, more than one. Satisfied?"
"How would I know if they were satisfied. Were they?"
"Listen, I'm going to go through this checkout, are you staying there?"
"Yeah, you passed. Aside from the last question."
"Oh. What do I win?"
"Win? Oh, me."
"I win you?"
"If you want."
"I get to take you home?"
"Yeah. But only if the idea turns you on."
"It does."
"I know."
"How do you know?"
"While you were staring at my breasts, I sneaked a look at the bulge in your pants. Could you hurry through the checkout? Everyone is ogling my panties."
"I thought you liked that."
"Not now you said 'yes'. Now I want you to ogle them."
"Oh. I'm not at all sure I can keep up with you."
"I'll help you out. Think I should ask that boy at the checkout to scan my ass?"